Sharing is Therapy - Part 3

>> Sunday, November 30, 2014

Hmm...berapa banyak part laa... haha. Sab pun tak sure berapa banyak part lagi nak publish. Hihi. Ok mari sambung sementara ingatan masih ada.

Topik: Apakah yang perlu dilakukan sebelum pengebumian?

1. Request Permit Kubur
This one I did while at the hospital. Ada kaunter polis berhampiran emergency area kat HSI tu. Alhamdulillah the officer was very helpful and give clear directions. I told him kat mana nak kebumi and if tak silap the officer tu jugak yang liaise kan dengan pihak perkuburan. He adviced me to make a police report and try get approval from authority if betul2 tak nak dibedah. But he couldn’t issue the police report though. Sab pun dah lupa kenapa dia tak boleh issue. So I had to go to the Masai police station to get the report.

2. Book van untuk bawa jenazah pergi masjid and then kubur.  
This one also I did at the hospital. Kena ambil nombor and ada borang kena isi and ade kena bayar. Alhamdulillah, semua cepat tak tunggu lama. Sebab waktu awal pagi kot. Bayaran van bergantung kepada jarak dari hospital ke tempat perkuburan tu. Sab tak ingat sab bayar berapa but less than RM20 kot. And kalau nak bawak ke tempat lain contoh masjid, perlu kow tim dengan pemandu van. Alhamdulillah, dapat pemandu Islam yang memahami dan dia  tak kesah kita minta dia singgah di masjid. Plus, the van was new and in good condition.

3. Buat police report.
Yang ini Abah sab drive and bawak sab pergi buat police report. And at the same time cuba dapatkan kebenaran tak nak dibedah. But then since it’s Sunday, approval authority was not around. Huhu  I just made a police report then. Punyalah lambat pegawai polis  tu taip. Rasa macam nak taipkan aje report tu. Asyik buat kesilapan and padam. Mungkin dia  tidak mahir computer. Dia  tidak lah tua pun. Kalau tua boleh faham lagi. Huhu.
 
4. Say yes to post mortem
I received a call from my other boss advising me to proceed with the post mortem. He pretty much convinced me to say yes. And so with a heavy heart… i said yes and gave a green light to pihak hospital to proceed with post mortem. It was Sunday kan? I thought it couldn’t be executed that day sebab memula kata takde pegawai. But Alhamdulillah, tetiba ada pegawai and the post mortem can be performed on that day jugak. Post mortem ni ada kena bayar ke tak ek? Sab rasa macam ada. But sab tak sure berapa. Sab dah tak ingat.
 
5. Bacaan Yasin
The family members dan kenalan yang ada di jabatan forensik membaca yasin utk suami..hadiahkan pada suami..semoga semua urusan dipermudahkan. Ade kawasan di luar bilik mayat utk duduk bersila dan baca Yasin. Pegawai benarkan.

6. Hubungi pihak utk memandikan jenazah
Sab tak sure siapa uruskan yg ini. Maybe parents. Kat bahagian forensik itu ada tampal senarai pihak untuk dihubungi. So kita boleh contact and aturkan. We decided mandi jenazah di hospital. Nak bawak balik rumah pun boleh actually. Dah alang-alang semua urusan boleh di hospital, maka lagi cepat if di hospital semua. Mandikan jenazah ni ada kena bayar. Sab rasa dalam RM300 to RM400. Dah tak ingat whether the cost tu termasuk post mortem or not.
 

7. Siapkan diri sendiri
Pada hari kejadian, sab tak sempat nak mandi pagi pun sebab it all happened too fast. I remembered my goodfriend Shaleen and her mom drove me home utk siapkan diri. So sementara husband di bahagain forensik, sab balik rumah untuk mandi and siap siap pakai persalinan putih. Adalah baik untuk kita sentiasa bersedia dengan persalinan putih atau hitam di rumah.

8. Memandikan jenazah
Kawan-kawan baik suami...adik lelaki Sab...and uncle ikut sama memandikan jenazah husband. Sab tak mandikan...sab tak cukup kuat mentally and emotionally... plus Sab pikir..dah agak ramai orang lelaki ikut mandikan..so Sab pun tak mandikan. =(

9. Mengkafankan jenazah
Yang ini bila dah nak habis proses mengkafan baru sab masuk tengok. Diyana teman. Sab tak boleh nak tengok sebenarnya. Macam macam perasaan ada. Lemah sedih takut semua ada..Tapi sab tengok jugak... Mulut sab tak henti henti baca doa Allahummaghfirlahum warhamhum wa'afihii wa'fua'nhum. Sebelum proses kafan habis...Sab kiss husband's forehead for the last time. Last. Lepas tu tak dapat tengok dah. =(

10. Sembahyangkan jenazah
Suami di bawa ke masjid taman rinting untuk disembahyangkan. Alhamdulillah keluarga, jiran-jiran, kawan-kawan kami, students suami juga...turut sama sembahyangkan.

11. Kebumi jenazah
Selesai sembahyan di masjid, terus bergerak ke kubur. Sab ikut pergi sama. Patutnya perempuan tidak digalakkan pergi...but Sab nak pergi jugak.Sab, mak and adik lelaki ikut sama naik van jenazah.. Dalam tu tak tau lah nak cakap apa... Tak terkata... Pandang husband yg dah berbalut putih...speechless..cuba bayangkan. Syukur sangat sangat the traffic was smooth. Sepanjang proses pengkebumian Sab still tak putus putus baca Allahummaghfirlahum warhamhum wa'afihii wa'fua'nhum. Berdoa agar semua lancar dan baik baik. Masa curahkan air ke atas kubur...nak berderai air mata...I remembered my younger brother in law said "Kak Sab..jangan nangis pls". So, sab tahan air mata... Alhamdulillah semuanya berakhir sebelum maghrib...hari yang sama. and sab nampak adik ipar org terakhir di samping kubur abangnya... he drove all the way from Perak with his wife and parents in law..
 
Maka...points before pengebumian is:
  1. Permit kubur
  2. Police report (if necessary, depends on case)
  3. Van
  4. Post mortem (if necessary, depends on case)
  5. Siapkan diri
  6. Bacaan Yasin
  7. Mandi > Kafan > Sembahyang > Kebumi
Dengan itu...Tamatlah part 1, 2, 3 ini.... lepas ni tajuk lain pulak, but still in same category which is Therapy...

Ucapan terima kasih ingin dirakamkan sekali lagi walaupun dah 2 tahun lepas.. tak pedulik..nak tulis jugak. Terima kasih untuk semua yang ada disamping Sab pada hari kejadian...ramai.. tak tertulis kat sini. Bantuan keluarga...jiran jiran...kawan kawan sab...kawan kawan suami...sangat sangat dikenang diingat..Hanya Allah yang dapat membalas dan merahmati semua jasa kamu semua.

Terima kasih. Jazakallahu khairan.


Love,
S

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Sharing is Therapy - Part 2

>> Thursday, November 27, 2014

Sifat yang perlu ada semasa di hospital.

Tenang
Sab masih lagi perlu bertenang. Tak menangis. Tak sempat nak menangis pun sebenarnya. Sab rasa kalau korang menangis pun, sila jangan bising sebab kita sekarang berada di hospital iaitu zon orang sedang serabut dan tiada siapa heran dengan tangisan kita. Huhu. Maka, yang sab lakukan adalah menunggu dengan tenang.

Jujur.
Doctor akan tanya banyak soalan. Serious banyak soalan. Cth…awak siapa? semalam buat apa? Semalam makan apa? Pergi mana? Suami tinggal di mana? Suami sakit apa? Siapa doctor yang selalu rawat suami? Ada demam or sakit apa apa before this? Suami selalu makan ubat apa? Macam mana boleh jatuh? Jatuh dari mana? Sebelum jatuh tengah buat apa? Banyak giler soalan… Lebih dari yg sab state kat sini. Jawab sahaja dengan jujur tanpa berselindung satu apa pun. Kalau tak tahu pun cakap sahaja tak tahu tanpa rasa malu. Because I am a big fan of Grey’s Anatomy, from what I watched, it’s not a good thing if doctor missed an info.

Jangan marah marah
Soalan banyak dari doctor kan? Kita tengah runsing dan takut kan? Selalunya orang yg takut akan marah marah. Maka, adalah penting di sini untuk sab terus fokus tenang dan tidak marah. Cuba fikir, doctor tu jugak yang akan cuba sedaya upaya menyelamatkan suami kita. Memarahi doctor tidak akan membantu kita apa apa.

Sabar
Doctor atau pegawai perubatan akan ulang kali keluar masuk bilik. Samada keluar dengan soalan, atau keluar dengan berita gembira atau sedih. The conversation I had with the doctor was like this, it’s tattooed in my mind already.
“Puan, maaf, kami tidak dapat selamatkan suami puan.”
“Sudah try semua? Memang sudah tak boleh?”
“Ye puan.”
“Ok….. Terima kasih ya”
"Puan boleh masuk untuk lihat suami puan”
Sometimes when i flash back the memory, i myself could not even comprehend why i was so..i dont know...the conversation i had with the doctor when she broke the bad news...it sounded like... i wasnt sad at all..like i took this lightly.  

No. i was actually very very very heart broken. Shattered to pieces. Rasa macam nak bunuh diri sendiri ikut mati jugak. But i didn't.

When the doctor walked away. I said Innalillahi wainnailaihi rojiuun. And then I cried for a while. And then I remind myself not to cry. Sab tahan. Sebab sab fikir sab ada banyak benda untuk diuruskan dan sab tak boleh menangis sekarang. It's like fighting with own self. Sakit tau sebenarnya. But kita harus bersabar. Dan jangan sesekali meraung.

I gathered my strength. Genggam tangan, pejam mata and reminded myself “This is real. Face it”
So I walked into the emergency door. And there was my beloved husband, covered with white hospital blanket. Waktu tu kita akan rasa lemah macam tak boleh nak berjalan, but we have to keep going and tahan semua perasaan yang kita ada.
Berdiri di sebelah dia…sab pegang tangan dia… usap rambut dia…tengok muka dia puas puas… and I kissed him and I said… “Daddy…I am sorry….” and from that moment…I keep on reciting below doa for him until he was buried…and I prayed hard to Allah to let everything went smoothly for him. 
 
Beritahu rakan rakan, keluarga dan pejabat
Sab call and informed mak yg waktu tu tengah on the way with abah and danial, my younger brother.

Sab tiada ibu bapa mertua. So sab informed adik ipar. Sebelum tu masa sedang menunggu pun sab sudah beritahu adik ipar what happened.  Abang ipar ade dalam flight ke oversea waktu tu.

Sab informed best friend suami. Sab cari nombor telefon siapa yg sab simpan. So sab telefon seorang and then he informed the rest. Bagi yang sudah berkahwin, adalah penting di sini untuk kita tahu siapa kawan-kawan baik suami dan simpan nombor telefon mereka. So if something like this happened, they deserve to know among the firsts. Alhamdulillah, sab pernah ikut suami hang out dengan kawan kawan dia so I had no problem interacting with his friends.

Sab informed immediate boss. It happened on Sunday. So the office would know why I wouldn’t  be around the next day or day after or days after….  

Sab informed few of close friends that I could think of at that time.

So begitulah, and the words spread. Thank you to Facebook and Mobile Phones.

Bertanya
Jangan lupa tanya pada pegawai perubatan lepas ni kita perlu buat apa? and mereka pulak perlu buat apa? Sab tanya soalan soalan mcm ni:

“Lepas ni macam mana ya?”
“Mandi mayat boleh diuruskan di hospital tak?”
“Ade van untuk hantar ke masjid and kubur tak?”
“Ada apa-apa borang perlu isi tak?”
“Bayaran semua macam mana  ya?”

Pihak hospital beritahu yang husband perlu dibawa ke jabatan forensik.
 
Bertindak dengan segera
And since suami meninggal secara mengejut dan masih muda. Maka, ikut prosedur, perlu dibedah. Post mortem. Untuk mengetahui punca kematian. Mengetahui yang husband perlu dibedah….i was like dalam hati “what?! No it would hurt him”

“Eh, tak nak tak nak. Saya tak nak dia dibedah.Saya nak uruskan secepat yang mungkin”
“Harus dibedah puan, memang prosedur. Kalau puan tak benarkan, puan perlu report ke balai polis and dapatkan kebenaran hakim, lepas  tu baru kami tak bedah. Hari ni hari Ahad puan, kalau doctor tiada, post mortem mungkin esok and kebumi esok.”

Bila dengar macam tu rasa mcm nak marah kan? Sebab kita takut and tak nak arwah dikebumi esok. So I have to remind myself again to Tenang dan Jangan Marah Marah.
What I did after that were these and I had to settle them fast: Buat police report, Request Permit Kubur, Book van untuk bawak pergi masjid and kubur, follow through on whats happening in jabatan forensik, follow through on penggali kubur, pemandi jenazah, etc... 

Semua semua tu harus dibuat dengan cepat and I was determined to settle everything that day, before sun set.
 
Berjaya tak before sun set? Di bedah atau tidak? Ha… nantikan Part 3. Hehe.

Conclusion, have these traits when you are in hospital.
  1. Tenang
  2. Jujur
  3. Jangan Marah Marah
  4. Sabar
  5. Beritahu Rakan, Keluarga, Pejabat
  6. Bertanya
  7. Bertindak dengan segera.
 
Love, S

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Sharing is Therapy - Part 1

>> Tuesday, November 25, 2014

What to do when you are in tough situation. Apakah yang kita perlu lakukan apabila berada dalam situasi yang sukar?

Tenang Diri
Ok yang pertama ini sebenarnya agak susah nak buat. Sab pun memula gagal. Waktu suami rebah, sab mcm terkejut tak terkata sab ingat dia main-main tapi rupanya memang betul sebab dia tak bagi respon, pastu apa lagi sab menjerit panggil Mak sampai rumah depan pun dengar. Huhu. Pastu cemas macam nak gila cakap “Daddy…bangunlah jangan tinggal Mommy..Daddy…jangan tinggal Mommy”. lutut lemah tak terdaya nak bangun. Tapi lepas tu, kena marah dengan mak pastu baru senyap, tersedar, terus reset otak I need to stay calm I need to stay calm.

Boleh bayangkan tak? Boleh kan? Hehe. Maka, we need to stay calm. Kalau tak calm, kita akan gila meraung tak ingat Allah. Please. Stay. Calm..

Dapatkan Bantuan.
Lepas sudah tenang baru otak boleh berfikir dengan waras. Baru sab terfikir jiran sebelah adalah doctor and suruh Mak panggil. Kalau korang ade kawan2 doctors, telefon aje and inform them. They would try their best to be there and help, insyaAllah.

Lepas sudah tenang baru boleh ambil telefon and terus call 999. Tang ini memang sakit hati lah sebab support team suruh kita check suami buat itu ini bla bla bla. Sakitnya hati. Kita nak dia cepat hantar ambulan tapi dia suruh kita buat itu ini pulak. Tapi Sab tak marah lah. Time tu tak boleh nak marah dah. Sab faham diorang ikut prosedur maka sab cuma terus bagi alamat and cakap “Boleh terus hantar ambulan tak? Saya memang dah tak tau nak buat apa tak boleh fikir dah ni.”
At the same time abah sab pun call ambulan. Ambulan dari tempat kerja dia kot.
So that morning, ada dua ambulan yang sampai. Yg sab call sampai lambat. Yg abah call sampai cepat.


Dokumen Penting
Sab capai wallet husband and purse sendiri and ikut Ambulan bawa husband ke HSI. Manalah tau pihak pihak berkenaan nak tengok IC ke ape ke… and manalah tau kita kena bayar apa apa ke.. so jangan lupa ya. And Alhamdulillah I brought along the IC.


Doa
Berdoa berdoa berdoa. In your heart. Or with your lips. Just keep on making doa. That’s what I did when I was in the ambulance. I didn’t know whether husband would be ok or not. All I know was I kept on praying in my heart for forgiveness from Allah… for husband to be OK and… if it’s not OK for Allah to give me strength to go through the situation.

Alhamdulillah I managed to stay calm in the end.
Alhamdulillah neighbors came and helped.
Alhamdulillah traffic was good and smooth.
Alhamdulillah for His strength in me.

 
So that’s it. What to do when you are in tough situation:
  1. Keep Calm
  2. Seek Help
  3. Important Documents
  4. Doa

I guess it can be applied in any situation.

Stay tuned for Part 2.
*smiles*


Love, S

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Wide Awake

>> Sunday, November 23, 2014

It's 12.46 AM and i am still wide awake i can't sleep. I don't know why. Usually i slept early.
Watching Hanee's sleeping face makes me smiles. 90% ikut muka Daddy. Bibir mungil. Bulu mata panjang. Pipi pau. Muka bulat. But no dimple like Mommy. Huhu. But It's okay. =) Thank you Allah. Alhamdulillah.

Just installed a blogger app for mobile. This post is made from the app. I just wanna try the app and see how it goes.

I checked some of the blogs which i used to follow..some of them have stopped writing...since 2009..2012.. Some still writes but not as often as they used to. =) I understood...semua sudah bekerja and ada yg sudah berkahwin...so..ya...we dont have time to write anymore... hehe.

Hmm. I plan to write about the experience of losing a loved one...of giving birth...of struggles as single mother..of everything that we have experienced. =)

Please do not get me wrong. Bukannya nak menyedihkan diri dengan ingat perkara lepas. No no... sharing all those makes me happy and i hope we can learn something from it too. I know whats past is past and i need to move on. Hey, this is me moving on lah ni. Sebab dah start blogging. Haha.

Please wait patiently for the stories or experience, ya?

Take care all of you. Good night.

Love,
S

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Hellew~

>> Thursday, November 20, 2014

Bismillah.
Assalamualaikum. =)

Hellew~ I'm back!!

Pergh... it's been a loooongggg time, right? I guess i was sort of like....membawa diri? Eceh eceh. Huhu

One fine day...all of a sudden i realized how much i miss the old bubbly summer... i miss myself. Boleh ke gitu? Boleh kott... hehe. So.... here i am! Online.

I miss getting in touch with fellow readers...eceh. mcm still ade reader je.. haha.

Am not sure whether all of you are still blogging or reading...i dont know... but one thing am so sure is... a lot have changed in your life as well...

Hmm.. ok. I gotta go.

I promise i'll update this blog from now on. Miss you wittybubblynerdy!!

Keep in touch people!

Love,
S

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Live life to the fullest even if im not around...

>> Saturday, March 30, 2013


Here. 

A birthday post by him...years ago..
*smiles*

I love you Abang, I love you still.

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Peluk aku

Tuhan
Terima kasih

Izinkan
roh kami berpelukan
lagi

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